Change Negative for Positive

Battling

Costing between a storm,

Creating right before my total existence,

Rumbling under my feet,

Emotional rage building up,

Creeping forcefully

Leaving me to be explosive,

With a mentally unstable manner,

Unhinged by the blissful delight,

“Why mustin’ I feel like such a deception?”

Enjoying creatively Zen fullness,

Back lashing on self harm,

Humanity takes on,

Full gear in hyper drive,

Driving, heading towards only known motives,

Revenge creeps away,

 Battling inner passions,

Giving in to my desires,

Contemplation arises in the wake

Of this frosty morning,

 

Cultivating conviction with the

Reliance and self motivation,

Sustaining moral  serenity,

From the growing self;

Me bursting into a monstrosity

Violent clusters  pertaining,

My surrounding clutter of bestowed madness,

Dreaming of the new, and the Right now’s

For seeing,

More potential

               Then just mental trauma,

My outstanding outlet,

Into a form of abyss,

Soothing your pure extremist

Soul, required willpower

Strength & endurance

With that comes attitude,

Divided only by life’s perspective,

The human eye only sees

What it chose’s to see,  

Resilience cause erratically tention

With friction so intense

your able  to cut it like a knife,

Doubt leads to unworthiness;

Not being able to know,

You are worthy,

Never, and I REPEAT,

NEVER,

Listen to someone or anyone

Thinking other wise,

Draw me in my dear,

For my foreshadowing

Creates a formality of great works,

Exploring,

Pondering underneath

My whole demeanor,

Takes aon challenges

That only leaves me

Only questioning,

To what degree did I allow

My standards and morals,

Serving it to the blinded,

Allowing another to gain control,

Do I not matter?!

Climbing with self hate,

Spectrums gleaming,

With all allegations

To both parties,

Blinded,

I was blinded to what really   

Needed to be seen,

As addiction, yes the lovely works of the devil,

Quietly stocking out his pray,

Coping and hiding inner most deepest feelings,

Screaming,

Making it all just go away,

Yearning,

Minding my inner abyss begins to

Transform a new logic,

Taking over,

 like A host, regretting sudden motives

Relying on self reliance,

Doubting the whereabouts

The devil might be hunting me out,

Lingering,

Lurking,

Watching self harm,

Becoming disjointed,

From the seems between,

Illustrating who or what, could become maintained,

From far past the known,

It only allows our righteousness to remain in tacked,

All judgement will take heed,

 

The willingness to progress in a meaningful life ,

over consumed by

A littles child’s play,

Standing the withdraws from

The devil that’s is steady lurking,

His play ground stays a hot mess,

Learning all new self care,

Resistance and determination

Takes my soul to new heights,

Exposing my real being of my spirit

That lies within the walls of this personal host,

 

Mind ripples from the battles of fighting demons

That over takes my mind,

Being fragile, always

Negative vibes,

Having great intentions

Wondering from afar,

Taking yield to the head count of the damaged,

I’ve longed for my debts,

To unfold,

Reviling my current place within my medium,

Taken by surprise,

Brought to an illusion that is a demise,

From under the threshold,

Fear overwhelmes my nerves system

Taken over with screams informing

My existence to become

A real reality.

-Shann.nicxx Hale ❣️